Turns out the Teletubbies are swingers and there’s genetic proof

In the latest edition of ‘things that will ruin your childhood’, a TikToker has theorised that not only did the Teletubbies have sexual relationships to produce children, they were actually swingers.

Eh-oh, indeed.

You all know the Teletubbies – Tinky Winky (the purple one), Dipsy (green), Laa-Laa (yellow), and Po (the little red one), creatures with TV screens wedged in their torsos and different antennae sprouting out of their heads that spoke in gibberish and lived in the Tubbytonic Superdome with a vacuum called Noo-noo. 

Well, in the revival series in 2015, the Tiddlytibbies were introduced – a gang of baby Teletubbies called Mi-Mi, Daa Daa, Baa, Ping, RuRu, Nin, Duggle Dee and Umby Pumby.

A Twitter user named Jess pointed out that the existence of the Tiddlytubbies seemingly proves that the Teletubbies have had heterosexual sex, tweeting: ‘what to do with the knowledge that the teletubbies have known one another carnally.’

But TikToker Kera McKeon went a step further, and decided that the colours of the Tiddlytubbies prove that Tinky Winky and Dipsy, the male Teletubbies, swung with Laa-Laa and Po.

The 20-year-old formed a genealogy chart, and explained that it operated under two assumptions: ‘One, that the Teletubbies have to procreate in a heterosexual manner, and two, being a primary colour Teletubby is a recessive gene.’

Kera added: ‘I do know one thing is for certain, is that the Teletubbies are swingers.’

In later videos, Kera – who is a film major – later shared information about codominance in genes, and said that she could be fairly certain that Duggle Dee, who is red, is the child of Tinky Winky and Po, because he had inherited both red genes.

She was also certain that Laa-Laa and Dipsy were the parents of Umby Pumby, as she had both yellow genes.

Nin, who is purple, has blue and red genes, and could have been either the child of Tinky Winky or Dipsy, but due to her antenna, she is most likely Tinky Winky and Po’s child.

Meanwhile, Dada is likely the child of Dipsy and Laa-Laa.

However, Ping could (a pink colour) is likely the child of Po and Dipsy, Mi-Mi (bright blue) could be Laa-Laa’s child with either Tinky-Winky or Dipsy, RuRu (orange) is probably Tinky-Winky and Laa-Laa’s son, and Baa (blue) is either Po’s son with Tinky-Winky or Dipsy.

So, there was a whole lot of switching around in the Tubbytonic Superdome. 

Kera shared her full chart on Twitter, as well as punnet squares delving further into the Teletubby genes, and it’s fascinating. 

Who knew the Teletubbies would be leaders in subverting societal norms? Good for them. 

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