Robert Rinder opens up about the shame he experienced as a young man: ‘It stops people reaching out for help’

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Robert Rinder has opened up about the pressures he felt while growing up as a gay man in the 1980s, while discussing how shame can prevent men from reaching out for help when they need it.

The barrister and television personality was appearing on the special all-male version of Loose Women, Loose men, when he spoke candidly about his experiences. 

Speaking about the significance of the word ‘shame’, Robert said: ‘That, in a nutshell, is what society constricts us into believing what a man should be. 

‘It’s the dark matter that prevents men from reaching out for help, be it their physical health, or their mental health, from being themselves,’ he told co-presenters Richard Madeley, Jordan Banjo and Martin Kemp.

Discussing his own experiences, Robert said: ‘Of course, I speak about this as a gay man growing up around that word, and all of the emotional violence it does to so many people. 

‘Shame is the thing that will contain you, and stop you ultimately, from being happy.’

When asked by Richard if he felt shame when growing up, he added: ‘Sure. I mean, it’s impossible not to. You think about what it was to be in the closet and to be gay in the 1980s, swirling around in fear. 

‘That applies to so many people. And of course, it’s not just the gay lived experience, you might be suffering with a mental health condition, you might have a health complaint, it could be something deeply personal, but you won’t reach out for help because society, other people, have told you: “You should be ashamed of that.”’ 

It comes after Robert asked the public for help after his mobile phone was stolen on the street earlier this month, saying he felt ‘an overwhelming sense of sadness’.

The Judge Rinder star claimed it was ‘grabbed out of my hands by three boys wearing balaclavas’ while he was out in London on Wednesday night

Loose Women airs on weekdays at 12.30pm on ITV.

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