Katie Piper: ‘My faith has helped get me through my trauma’

I didn’t grow up in a religious family and I was never christened. 

In fact, I think if my parents had tried to get me to believe, I would have rebelled because that was just the sort of teenager I was. 

It took a chance encounter with a nurse, back when I was in hospital in 2008, for me to start my own journey with God. 

During that period I felt so alone and depressed, and that nurse sat with me. Whenever she would see me, she would talk to me, sing to me, pray for me and read scripture. 

At a very unsafe time, her presence made me feel reassured and protected. Instead of religion feeling like something alien, it just felt right. 

It was a feeling that intensified when I prayed for the first time. I was still in hospital but it felt like I was surrounded by a bright light and was receiving a warm hug. 

I didn’t ever want to lose that feeling – and I never have. 

When I was discharged and back home, I continued praying and it brought me comfort. I was struggling awfully with agoraphobia – the fear of leaving the house – but when I did feel ready to venture outside months later, the first place I went to was to church. 

Maybe selfishly, I thought I was less likely to face rejection or any kind of negative feedback there. But it was the church that was my middle man before going back into society. 

From there I did an Alpha course – which introduces you to the basics of the Christian faith through talks and discussions – and was taken under the wing of some elderly members of the church who mentored me. 

Since then, my faith has been a way for me to make sense of my own trauma and has helped provide me with so much support with my mental health throughout my journey. 

There’s a beautiful poem called Footprints in the Sand, which is all about a man reflecting on his life. He looks back on good memories and sees two sets of footprints – his and God’s – but at his worst moments he noticed that there were only one set. 

He didn’t understand why God had left him during his hardest times, to which God replied that he was the one carrying him through these challenging moments. 

I really see this analogy reflected in my own life; there have been situations that are so out of my control and I’ve just had to surrender to something bigger than me and to a higher power. 

In those moments, I just have to say to myself, ‘I was never in control of my life, it was never my plan – it was God’s plan so I best just sit back. It’s going to be a bumpy ride but if I can trust Him, then I can let go’. 

Sure, I have had doubtful moments, I have my difficult months, weeks, days – but I also have countless wonderful ones. That’s any relationship – personal or spiritual. 

For me, my faith is the thing that gives me stability, strength and stops me losing belief in mankind and the world. 

It’s that safety blanket of reassurance that everything will turn out alright because whatever the outcome is, it’s the one that was meant to be, so you have to stop fighting against it. 

It’s what keeps me going during those moments of darkness. I have the faith that things will get better. 

But I think that message goes for anyone regardless of their beliefs, or lack of them. In every life, there will be hard times, but there will be moments of euphoria and joy – and the joyful days will return, even if it’s an uphill struggle. 

It’s something I think about a lot when people interview me. So often, I get told – in the nicest way possible – that I’m inspiring. And I always want to stop them and say, ‘No I’m not, I’m just a normal girl who had no other choice’. 

People are resilient, but we never find out until we have to be. 

A mantra that I’m really fond of is, ‘Hold on, pain ends’. Pain is so consuming – both physical and mental pain. But anyone who has been in pain will know that one day it will just be a memory. It’s really hard to understand when you’re in the thick of it but one day you will be able to reflect and say, ‘Wasn’t I strong? Didn’t I endure that?’. 

These low moments may end up being a story you tell others – but all your experiences will come together to make the rich tapestry that is you. 

The last year is a great example: it has been hard. The goal posts have been moved constantly and we’re having to adapt daily to new measures – but we persevere. We may suffer, or stick to the rules begrudgingly, but we still come out the other side. 

My faith has really helped me through the pandemic. I have an app called Lectio 365 that has a religious thought for the day; I’ll put my headphones in and read a bit of scripture while the author explains what it means. 

In the first lockdown I listened to it every single day – sometimes more than once. 

Feeling that connection, almost daily, gets me through. The warmth of faith, having someone to turn to, is like therapy. 

I think we can all relate to the positive feeling that comes from being supported – and that doesn’t need to come from one specific faith, or even any religion. Wherever you get it, it is invaluable. 

For me, I was in a desperately terrible place the day that nurse walked into my room. I was at the beginning of a recovery with no idea of where to turn or what to do next. 

I wouldn’t even recognise the person I was back then – but faith has got me through.

Katie’s book A Little Bit of Faith is available for pre-order

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