Queer people are too often sanitised – I love Lil Nas X for being unashamedly horny

There’s a bit in Montero (Call Me By Your Name) – the absolutely massive global hit by Lil Nas X – in which he quite accurately says it’s a ‘sign of the times every time that I speak’.

He’s not wrong: pretty much everything he does lately generates memes, applause, scrutiny, commentary and a vast assortment of thinkpieces – including, uh, this very article.

And his latest talking point? An unashamedly sexed-up performance on Saturday Night Live over the weekend; complete with an ensemble of topless male dancers who touched him, writhed around him, and at one point even licked his neck.

The song’s lyrics may have been watered down a bit for TV (‘f**king and flying’ became ‘loving and flying’, and we got ‘put a smile on your mouth’ instead of, er, putting a certain something ‘in your mouth’); but it remained unmistakably, gloriously filthy.

Now, being a shining example of young queer representation – and specifically young queer Black representation – is something the 22-year-old has been rightly hailed for already; most notably when the Montero video came out in March and he was seen pole dancing down to Hell and getting extremely frisky with that little-known Z-lister called Satan.

And in case anyone was worried that the tiresome backlash from religious conservatives would persuade him to change course, that SNL performance really drove home that he remains unafraid of not only being visibly queer, but also of being openly, proudly, explicitly horny.

For someone in pop culture – especially popular music – to be so forthright with their sexuality is of course nothing new. Sex and lust have always taken centre stage; whether it’s TLC setting up shop in a brothel for Red Light Special, Britney Spears setting tongues wagging with a not-hideous male model for Don’t Let Me Be The Last To Know, or – less iconically – Liam Payne saying he’ll ‘probably do your ass in the car’ on a song from his 2019 solo album.

But for that sexuality to be queer? It’s rare, at least in the mainstream. And even when it does happen, it rarely comes from queer artists themselves (much as tATu tried to convince us otherwise on All The Things She Said).

Generally speaking, queer people in pop culture are often sanitised or watered-down or made ‘palatable’ in order to be accepted; in order to be made accessible to mainstream audiences.

People can now tolerate or perhaps even welcome an LGBT+ celebrity into the zeitgeist, provided they seem harmless and fun and inoffensive – but there’s still the lingering sense that many folks don’t want non-heteronormative sexuality ‘shoved down our throats’ or ‘forced in our faces’.

Even today, saccharine same-sex kisses on soaps generate a handful of complaints, sex scenes in shows like It’s A Sin are written about very differently to sex scenes between straight partners, and queer people being affectionate in public are met with a load of bewildered stares, or worse.

As far as things have come in recent years and decades, there’s still so much shame all over the place: you still hear ‘gay’ as an insult on the playground, you still have parents not wanting to ‘confuse’ their kids by teaching them that LGBT+ people exist, you still see – as we did just last week with an 12-year-old in Devon – heartbreaking news reports about young people taking their own lives after being mercilessly bullied for questioning their orientation.

That’s not even touching on the absolute circus of a mediascape that’s currently being faced by our trans and gender non-conforming siblings.

Heck, sometimes when it comes to acceptance, the call’s coming from inside the house: I know for a fact that gay men who are more feminine are occasionally rejected by others within their own community for not being ‘masculine’ enough.

I appreciate that it might feel like a bit of a reach to draw a line between all that and Lil Nas X singing about wanting to ‘feel on your ass in Hawaii’; but the point is that the more unfiltered visibility and openness there is, the less shame and ‘oh no, we can’t have that on primetime TV’ there is, the more queerness can be normalised and the shame ultimately recedes.

It’s like society has been getting (slowly) more and more comfortable with people being LGBT+ (‘love is love!’), but – again, generally speaking – as long as they’re not too queer. As long as they can just about fit in with everyone else; as long as they keep all the raunchy stuff behind closed doors.

So for this artist to be breaking down that taboo and being brazenly randy on one of the most iconic TV shows in the world – when straight artists have been doing the same thing for years – is so, so refreshing to see.

The man himself told GQ last month that he had previously been taught to feel like he would ‘never want to portray too much feminine energy… That I have to keep it very safe and PG-13. And that even as a gay artist that I have to be respectable.’

He went on to say how he felt he was simply not ‘allowed to be really sensual or anything… Like I’m gay but I’m not “gay”… Like, I’m gay but I have to make sure you feel like I can be straight-passing too.’

That he’s recognising those barriers and deliberately breaking them down is just incredible.

Of course I’m conscious of putting too much pressure on the shoulders of a young guy who only last month turned 22; and it should also not be ignored that he’s facing a constant barrage of disapproval and venomous racism and homophobia on social media, which – despite his hilarious clapbacks – can’t be easy. So I hope he has a good team around him who are supporting him through this extraordinary moment.

Every now and then a queer artist comes along and helps bash down another wall and earns their place in the history books. Lil Nas X is quite comfortably becoming one such artist.

And with Montero (Call Me By Your Name) still riding high on the charts on both sides of the Atlantic, I’m hopeful that the masses are paying attention.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

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