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I need to break the news to my daughter that I love her childhood friend
DEAR DEIDRE: I DON’T know how to tell my daughter that I am in love with her childhood friend.
I was with my children’s mother for 19 years — including while my daughter was at school with the woman I now love.
I am worried to hurt my daughter as I am in love with her childhood pal
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My wife and I split after I found her secret email account and messages that proved she had been sleeping with a guy from work.
Back then, I was never attracted to this girl. To me, she was simply my daughter’s best friend.
We kept in touch because she would often pop in to see our daughter. We would always chat, but it was never flirty. Now she is 26 and I am 49.
A couple of weeks ago, she popped over to see my daughter, but she was running late back from work, so I sat with her while she waited.
It felt very comfortable, though I found myself admiring how gorgeous she was.
She asked me why I hadn’t dated since the divorce. I surprised myself when I admitted: “I was so hurt after the break-up, I suppose I wouldn’t know how to connect with anyone again.”
Without saying a word, she got up from her chair and came to sit on my lap. She tilted my chin towards her and kissed me.
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I kissed her back, and to my surprise, it felt right. We have been texting every day since. I’ve not taken it any further at the moment because I respect her.
I don’t want her to think I’m only using her to get my leg over. I know it sounds ludicrous, but I really feel we could have a future together.
My biggest concern is my daughter. I hope she would be happy that I have found someone — she’s always asking me when I’m going to get back out there. But this definitely isn’t what she was thinking.
I know she would be shocked, and maybe a bit hurt. So how do I break the news to her without wrecking our relationship?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Relationships with a large age gap can work, as long as you want the same things. My support pack explains this in more detail.
But you might be getting ahead of yourself. You are in the very early stages of getting to know this girl, and what you don’t know is if she sees this as anything more than a fling.
Your first move should be asking her how she feels.
In terms of telling your daughter, be prepared that you may not get the reaction you want. But she will respect you more if you are open and honest.
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