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My sister is trying to take over my life
DEAR DEIDRE: IT feels like my sister is trying to take over my life.
I badly broke my arm and have been staying with her while I recuperate.
She seems to think we can grow old and eccentric together
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She’s said I should move in permanently but I don’t want to, as I value my independence.
I recently escaped a long, controlling marriage, and was enjoying living alone and socialising again. I’m 52 and she’s 58.
She’s been single all her life and I think she’s lonely.
Now I’m divorced she seems to think we can grow old and eccentric together.
I appreciate her support and kindness but once I’m better, I can’t wait to leave.
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She doesn’t seem to hear it when I say I’m not staying permanently.
I hate confrontation and don’t know how to deal with her.
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DEIDRE SAYS: While you don’t want to upset your sister, you do need to be honest.
Thank her for all she has done as you recovered but explain how much you enjoy living alone. Tell her you want to explore being single after so long living unhappily with your ex.
Perhaps you could offer to make more regular arrangements together – meeting up for lunch, say, or even going on a holiday together.
But you need to be firm. My support pack on Standing Up For Yourself should help.
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