Politics
My one-night-stand tried to choke me during sex
DEAR DEIDRE: A MAN I met on a one-night stand tried to choke me during sex.
He put his hands around my neck and squeezed tight. I was so shocked that I didn’t say anything, but I’ve been feeling disturbed ever since.
He just did it, as though it was a normal part of intercourse
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I’m 27 and he was 24. We met at a party last weekend and he seemed nice.
He offered to walk me home as I was quite drunk, and I invited him in. We chatted on the sofa, then had consensual sex.
But the choking wasn’t consensual.
He just did it, as though it was a normal part of intercourse.
Afterwards, he chatted as if nothing had happened.
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No previous partner has ever done anything like that to me. I found it painful and scary.
I feel it’s my own fault for having sex with a stranger.
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DEIDRE SAYS: You did nothing wrong here.
Some people do enjoy choking during sex and many will have seen it performed in porn. It is potentially very dangerous, and should only happen where there is total informed consent.
It is not OK to do this without asking.
If you feel comfortable you could send him a message to this effect. It’s also totally fine if you would rather have no contact with him again.
For support, get in touch with Rape Crisis on 0808 802 9999.
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