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I stood up to a bully but my husband is still friends with her

DEAR DEIDRE: Despite me telling my husband and friends the reason why I fell out with a woman at our bowls club, they have remained friends with her.

I’d had enough of how this woman spoke to me, especially in group situations so I told her.

My husband and friends shouldn’t be expected to take sides, but sometimes I feel let down by them

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She didn’t like what she heard, disagreed and said she’d no longer be part of our team.

This woman is a loud, overbearing, bully. She’d belittled me once too often and I flipped.

I am 59 and my husband is 62. This woman is 61.

I know my husband and friends have to make up their own minds about her and shouldn’t be expected to take sides, but sometimes I feel let down by them.

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I now feel bad for speaking up.

My husband says it’s just the way she is and I should stop going on about it.


DEIDRE SAYS: It’s a tough situation. Some people make themselves feel better by putting others down, but she was making you miserable, so you were right to cut that friendship off.

You can’t control how others behave nor expect them to take sides.

Seeing friends feuding is upsetting so don’t make it harder on your husband or your friends by asking them to choose between you. It’s unfair to them.

My support pack Rows With Friends may help you.

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