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I’m wondering if I should leave my husband after I caught him watching porn
DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I walked into the bathroom the other night I found my husband watching porn. He thought I was asleep in the room next door.
It’s a pretty standard thing in most relationships, I know, but I don’t feel like I can trust him any more.
I can’t stop thinking about him fantasising about that woman in the video – it feels like he’s cheated
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He’s 48, I’m 45 and we’ve been married for nine years. We’ve got two kids together, aged seven and four.
When I asked him why he was watching it, he said it was because I’d been “a bit distant”.
He’s not wrong. I’ve been crazy busy with work and organising lots of events for our kids’ school PTA.
But I just can’t stop thinking about him fantasising about that woman in the video. It feels like he’s cheated.
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DEIDRE SAYS: People have different opinions on porn, so you’re entitled to feel the way you do.
But this does not have to be the end of your relationship.
Take this as a prompt that it’s time to fix what’s not working and start afresh.
Both write down three things you’d like the other to work on and commit to trying hard over the next six months.
Some couple’s counselling might help. See tavistockrelationships.org.
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