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I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years but he still won’t have sex with me

DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend and I have been together for three years, but we’ve never had sex.

Whenever I start to touch him sexually, he stops me and says we should go to sleep.

I’m much too young to give up on sex, and I want kids some day

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I’m a woman of 28 and he’s 32, and we’ve been seeing each other for three years.

He lives far away, so we don’t meet often, but we’ve been talking about moving in together.

I love him and we have so much in common, but I’m worried that if I stay with him we’ll never have a physical relationship.

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He changes the subject when I try talking to him. I don’t want to upset him.

I’m much too young to give up on sex, and I want kids some day. What should I do?


DEIDRE SAYS: Sex is normal and healthy, and creates intimacy.

You’ve been very patient. But imagine how much worse it will get when you move in together.

It’s unfair of him to refuse to discuss this. He may be asexual, gay, have a physical issue, or just be scared.

Tell him you’ll support him to deal with the issue. Suggest he sees his GP.

My support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, will help you to talk.

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