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My abusive boyfriend treats me as his slave but won’t let me leave him

DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend treats me like a slave. He never helps with the housework or kids. His wages are his own and I struggle on my benefit money.

I’m a 29-year-old mum to three girls.

I’m too scared to leave as he says he will destroy me and I’ll have nothing

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He’s 31. He shouts and swears at me almost daily and calls me awful names.

We are still having sex but only on his terms – but with no kissing or cuddling.

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We might as well be lodgers who sleep together. I’m too scared to leave as he says he will destroy me and I’ll have nothing.

I don’t know whether I could manage on my own but would you say that I’m in an abusive relationship?


DEIDRE SAYS: Yes, you most certainly are, with the name-calling, withholding money and sex on his terms.

This isn’t an equal and loving relationship. It’s also very damaging for your children to witness.

You deserve love and respect. Anyone who loves you wouldn’t want to hurt you.

You can find legal support and advice about how to best end this toxic relationship through Only Mums (onlymums.org).

They can help you find free legal advice, enabling you to separate, while keeping your children safe and happy.

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