Alex Scott opens up about trauma of having an abusive father: ‘You’re living in fear every single moment’-Jess Bacon-Entertainment – Metro

Alex Scott has opened up about her relationship with her father in a heartbreaking new interview (Picture: YouTube / The Diary Of A CEO)

Alex Scott has shared the heartbreaking story of her childhood and living with her abusive father in a new podcast. 

The former England footballer appeared on Steven Bartlett’s Diary of a CEO and opened up about her difficult childhood, which she has detailed in her new book, How (Not) To Be Strong. 

In the emotional conversation, Alex, 37, told the Dragon’s Den star about the ‘hardest night’ of her life, where she overheard her father with her mother after a birthday party.

She said: ‘I’m in a room listening to everything go on, and just hoping she’s alive.’

The volatile and scary environment led Alex to look for her own form of comfort and distraction, which she found in sport.

She explained: ‘You’re living in fear every single moment. So, the football cage becomes your escape, for me… I wanted to go home to protect my mum. I wanted to go home to put a shield around her. To be strong for her.’

While it offered a safe space as a child, Alex turned her hobby into a successful career as a professional footballer for Arsenal and later England.

Alex broke down in tears as she spoke with Steven Bartlett about her childhood and mental health struggles in the years that followed (Picture: Emily Manley)

Ahead of the book’s release, the footballer turned sports presenter shared her anxieties that writing the truth about her childhood could ‘ruin’ her dad’s life. 

‘My dad – you know, I see the love in my dad. I wanted to love my dad so much, I was a daddy’s little girl. But he had this dark side, and that’s the side we saw a lot of growing up,’ Alex said, she later added: ‘I’ve done this book to free my Mum, but on the other hand I’m scared it could ruin my dad’s life and I don’t want that.’

The former Strictly Come Dancing competitor said that her relationship with her father and seeing her parents’ interactions is one of the reasons she struggled to find love as an adult. 

She said it affected her relationships as she tries hard to ‘avoid conflict’ and she had to learn that she can ‘do what I want to do.’ 

Alex has detailed the events in her new book, How (Not) To Be Strong where she shares her struggles with depression (Picture: Kate Green/Getty Images)

In the long and emotional discussion, Alex also opened up about her struggles with depression and revealed how one day she looked in the mirror and didn’t recognise the person looking back at her.  

‘I remember that like it was yesterday,’ Alex said through tears. ‘I keep going back to the word heavy, as I still feel it… I didn’t know that I was carrying a lot… straight away I carried that into my broadcasting career. 

‘And like all these great things like I was the first this, I was the first that. I never set out to be that, I was just following something that I loved, that I had a passion for… and the pressure that came with that…

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‘The expectation for me, the expectation I put on myself was not to let anyone down… I was working so much, doing so much not to let anyone down… It just got to a stage where I just couldn’t take it anymore.’

When she looked back on that time, Alex was proud of how far she had come since she was ‘shutting off from life, shutting off from dealing with emotions, not letting anyone to help me when I need help.’

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