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Avatar: The Way Of Water review – An astonishing spectacle but a seen-it, been-there story-Larushka Ivan-Zadeh-Entertainment – Metro
It’s more like a three-hour theme park ride.
James Cameron has pushed technological frontiers in the Avatar sequel (Picture: 20th Century Studios)
Needing to gross more than $2billion to turn a profit, the stakes could not be higher for Avatar 2. As director James Cameron acknowledges, his ambitious, 13-years-in-the-making sequel has to be ‘the third or fourth highest-grossing film in history. That’s your break-even.’
But don’t bet against him.
He wrote and directed two of the most successful movie sequels of all time: Aliens and Terminator 2: Judgment Day. And, from the moment you stick those 3D glasses back on, you’ll be wowed by a cinematic experience unlike any other. Visually, at least.
Because the story’s a seen-it, been-there snore.
This is the saga (there are at least three more sequels to come) of ex-marine, turned blue eco-leader Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) and his wife Neytiri (Zoe Saldana), who are now parents to their three kids plus an adopted teenage daughter (a motion-captured Sigourney Weaver, interestingly playing a 14-year-old).
When their home on Pandora is again threatened by humans, led by a DNA-cloned Colonel Quaritch (Stephen Lang), the Sully clan seek refuge with an ocean-loving tribe (including Kate Winslet) where they must learn watery ways to survive.
Stephen Lang’s character Quaritch leads the threat to Pandora (Picture: 20th Century Studios)
‘The way of water has no beginning and no end’, they are told – voicing the despair I felt around the two hour mark.
Forget going to the loo beforehand, you’ll be desperate to nip out and give your eyeballs a rest after an hour of pristine 3D.
And it’s not just visual overload. Whilst there’s always tonnes of action going on, it’s remarkably hard to engage with it, or care much about these bland characters.
Until, that is, the sensational, Aliens-worthy 45-minute-long finale, complete with a Titanic homage and sparkling, phosphorescent wonders.
Neytiri, played by Zoe Saldana, and Jake Sully, played by Sam Worthington (Picture: 20th Century Studios)
Tonowari, played by Cliff Curtis, and the Metkayina clan (Picture: 20th Century Studios)
As a spectacle it’s astonishing. But is this even a film? It’s more like a three-hour theme park ride. Or a superior version of those show-reel display loops they use in shops like Currys to show off how good the tellies are.
Yes, Cameron is once again pushing the technological frontiers forward. But to what effect?
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Performance-wise, there’s nothing here to rival Andy Serkis’s extraordinary, Oscar-worthy work in War Of The Planet Of The Apes. And no other movie can hope to rival its budget.
A cinematic milestone or a cinematic cul-de-sac? Only time will tell.
12A. Out Friday in cinemas
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