Eurovision has turned a corner in the nation’s hearts thanks to a slick, occasionally surreal night-Keith Watson-Entertainment – Metro

Keith Watson reviews this year’s blockbuster Eurovision song contest (Picture: AP)

For a few glorious seconds, I was ready to human caterpillar. My hips limbered up at the sound of the crowd chanting ‘cha cha cha’ in Liverpool’s Arena for all they were worth.

And my party crowd, lubricated a little too liberally on vermouth and lime-tinted gin, were chanting ‘cha cha cha’ in deepest Essex. With just one score left to be announced there was just a tiny cha-cha-chance that the people would triumph and Finland’s Käärijä would lift the Eurovision crown with his bonkers party anthem Cha Cha Cha.

But no. As we kind of knew in our gin-sizzled hearts, the juries had killed Käärijä’s chances by giving him too big a points mountain to climb as they all jumped aboard the chosen one: Sweden’s returning winner Loreen and her Euphoria remix Tattoo, a song sung inside a sandwich toaster cannily aimed at hoovering up jury love with its over the top production.

The UK televote gave Finland 12 and Sweden just 5, a pattern repeated broadly across Europe. But it wasn’t enough to overturn what felt like a verdict pre-ordained by the Eurovision high ups.

Shouldn’t Eurovision be about the popular vote rather than being decided by anonymous bunches of ‘music biz professionals’, chosen by who knows who, whose taste veers wearily towards beige flavoured ballads? The fact that dreary efforts from Estonia and Lithuania figured high on the jury scorecards tells you all you need to know.

In a smart move this year’s semis were televote only, so why keep the juries for the final, a move which effectively decided the result by the halfway mark.

‘Shouldn’t Eurovision be about the popular vote rather than being decided by anonymous bunches of “music biz professionals?”‘ (Picture: REUTERS)

‘As for the UK’s Mae Muller, who wound up second last… let’s just say she struggled to make much of an impression’ (Picture: PA)

A result that means that next year we’re off to Sweden, the nation whose influence runs deep – too deep – in Eurovision, thanks to a record-equalling victory scored just in time to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Abba’s Waterloo breakthrough. What are the odds?

But let’s not get down my cha cha cha chums, because though we were denied a potentially messy Käärijä climax, there was much to celebrate on Saturday night in what turned out to be a slick and occasionally surreal night – yes, we’re looking at you Mel Giedroyc, butter churner extraordinaire – as the BBC pulled out all the stops with an eye-catching production that steered a well-chosen line between knockabout fun and paying due respect to co-hosts Ukraine.

From an opening sequence re-working last year’s stirring winning anthem Stefania and featuring past Ukraine acts – you can never have too much Verka Serduchka – to giving Ukraine host Julia Sanina a striking leading role, Ukraine were properly at the party from start to finish, as they should have been, given their position as reigning champs.

Hannah Waddingham, a pretty niche name before the party got started, is now a bona fide national treasure (Picture: PA)

And the choice of homegrown presenters, a bit of an eyebrow raiser when first announced, proved spot on. Hannah Waddingham, a pretty niche name before the party got started, is now a bona fide national treasure, bringing just the right note of glam eccentricity and a stonking French accent to the mix. Even Graham Norton, let out of his commentary box lair for the occasion, looked starstruck.

There were some bizarre moments, the lack of an actual Beatles song in the Liverpool Songbook interval sequence not least among them. And if you’re going to film Kate Middleton playing the piano (for reasons that remain unclear, even with a foggy hangover) then why give it only ten seconds? But then Eurovision is all about those kind of weird out of body experiences.

‘There’s always next year and hope, for true UK Eurovision diehards, will spring eternal’ (Picture: PA)

‘Next year we’re off to Sweden, the nation whose influence runs deep – too deep – in Eurovision’ (Picture: REUTERS)

And there were out of body experiences aplenty as Croatia’s Let3 stripped down to their baggy undies, Serbia’s Luke Black led the trend for singing lying flat on your back – it’s not a good look – and some countries spent their entire GNP on the staging. Sometimes guys, less is more. But it all made for a fantastic spectacle.

As for the UK’s Mae Muller, who wound up second last … let’s just say she struggled to make much of an impression. After a night of high-impact performances, a breezy bop around the stage coupled with vocals oddly buried in the mix just isn’t going to cut it with the voters.

‘It all made for a fantastic spectacle’ (Picture: AP)

Was it the 25th worst song of the night? No way. But it committed Eurovision’s cardinal sin of failing to nail the big moment that meant voters from Dublin to Dubrovnik might toss it a vote.

My guess is it was everyone’s 13th fave, the ‘yeah it’s ok’ place that bags precious few points.

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Still, there’s always next year and hope, for true UK Eurovision diehards, will spring eternal. The semis will likely be back to iPlayer only and we won’t be getting regular rehearsal updates on The One Show as everyone who’s ever sung a note for the UK gets hauled out of mothballs. But it’s safe to say Eurovision has turned a corner in the nation’s hearts.

And, my friends, we’ll always have Cha Cha CHA!

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