I’ve been called the R word, I know the pain it causes – why is Rosie Jones using it?-Melissa Parker-Entertainment – Metro

I want Rosie Jones and Channel 4 to listen to stories like mine and many others (Picture: Kate Green/BAFTA/Getty Images for BAFTA)

As soon as I saw the name of Rosie Jones’s new documentary – featuring an ableist slur – I felt bile rise and my body was rigid.

It’s called: ‘Rosie Jones: Am I a R****d?’ 

My instinctive negative reaction is because I have cerebral palsy, which means I use a wheelchair full-time and have a speech impediment.

So when I saw the new documentary name, I was transported back to traumatic instances from my childhood when I didn’t understand the hurtful words hurled at me.

That’s why I think the title should be changed and that both Rosie Jones and Channel 4 should apologise and learn from this experience.

I was six and in the school playground when I first heard the slur. At the time, I couldn’t grasp the meaning behind the word, but I knew it was intended to inflict pain and to hurt.

Ever since then, they just kept on coming. As a result, I recoiled on instinct and grew wary of other children.

A documentary about ableism and online trolling is so important, but using that phrase is wrong (Picture: Melissa Parker)

It took years to mend those wounds, claim my pride in being disabled, unravel the tangled memories and to uncoil myself. Those early encounters of being called a ‘sp*z’ and a ‘r****d’ shattered something within me and removed an innocence I never regained. 

Words can wound, demean, and perpetuate stereotypes. When I hear those slurs today, the old scars are reopened and the pressure reapplied.

I want Rosie Jones and Channel 4 to listen to stories like mine and many others, to listen to the pain in our words and our history, and ask themselves: is it worth it?

I had planned to watch it, but I can’t anymore. A documentary about ableism and online trolling is so important, but using that phrase is wrong. 

Throughout history, the term has been used to belittle and dehumanise people with intellectual disabilities. It has contributed to the stigmatisation and marginalisation of our community, reinforcing negative stereotypes and promoting discrimination. 

It is crucial to recognise that such language is harmful and perpetuates damaging attitudes toward individuals with disabilities.   

Jones has since posted a video explaining her decision to use ‘a very shocking word’ in the title: ‘I get it, a lot of people will find this word very shocking and upsetting. But, in my opinion, society doesn’t take this word and other ableist forms of language as seriously as any form of abuse from any other minorities. So I said to Channel 4, let’s do it. Let’s tackle the problem head on.’

I don’t believe this is tackling the problem head-on at all – it’s just wrong. 

Does she fully get it? I’m not diminishing her experiences or her pain; she’s a disabled person choosing to use a slur that’s been frequently used to harm her – and that is an individual choice.

We share the same disability as we’re both people with cerebral palsy, so we will likely continue to have this word used against us throughout our lives. While I’m all for taking back control, has she truly considered how this could affect the broader community?

We’re told that the use of it in the documentary is within the context of the subject matter being examined and specific to the abuse Jones receives on social media.

But how many trolls are capable or willing to be such critical thinkers? How many people in pubs and on streets – where I still hear such slurs and flinch – will want to be educated and watch for the nuance?  

There has been so much concern about the title that disability activists Shelby Lynch, Kate Stanforth and Lucy Dawson – who were involved in the documentary for ‘the last few months’ – removed themselves ‘at their request’ from the project.   

Disability activists Shelby Lynch and Lucy Dawson have pulled out of the documentary (Pictures: Getty / Instagram / @luuudaw / @shelbykinsxo)

Lynch said the title would make her disabled followers’ lives ‘more difficult’, and it was ‘decided that the three of us would be removed from the documentary instead of the name being changed’. 

She added: ‘I really hope you understand that we did all we could to change the title, but unfortunately, we weren’t listened to.’ 

Without these important voices in the documentary, this version is insufficient. That’s why there should be no other course of action than the title changed, an apology issued and a meaningful conversation about why it happened – and why the views of so many disabled people were ignored.

On top of that, how is it possible to respect Rosie Jones and Channel 4 after these claims? Both have previously said they care about the opinions, perspectives and lived experiences of disabled people — to support and back disabled voices.

But what could possess someone not to listen when such a group of people – and your chosen representatives within that group – tell you that what you’re doing could be damaging to their wellbeing.

Using derogatory slurs like the one in question perpetuates harmful stereotypes and discrimination. By ultimately dismissing the concerns raised by the disability community and seemingly refusing to engage in meaningful dialogue about changing the name, Rosie Jones is potentially doing more harm than any good she envisages.

But I don’t think the documentary should be scrapped. Having experienced online abuse as a disabled woman, I am pleased that there is going to be a TV show to raise awareness and educate viewers about the issue of ableism and the abuse Jones and other disabled people face every day. 

A popular refrain I have heard across social media in the last few days is to not judge a book by its cover and to wait until the documentary comes out before making up our minds. But we know others will – they’ll see this word and think it’s fine to use. 

Rosie Jones and Channel 4 need to consider the consequences of their actions. This isn’t about education or reclamation – it’s about the ordinary disabled people who could suffer as a result of others’ choices.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

Share your views in the comments below.

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