Lauren Kilby went from advertising producer to poo detective (Picture: Getty)
Your wedding is likely a day you’ll remember forever. But for Karen Whitehouse and Helen MacLaughlin, their nuptials became unforgettable for all the wrong reasons.
The year was 2018 and the celebrations took place on the top deck of a boat in Amsterdam. The sky was crisp and blue, bar a few fluffy clouds and the atmosphere was magical. As the afternoon turned to evening, guests took to the dance floor, enjoyed the trays of canapés and sipped on flutes of free flowing champagne.
But things took a shocking turn when Karen stumbled across a grim sight in the ladies’ loo.
In the middle of the floor, nowhere near a toilet bowl or even a cubicle, lay a mysterious poo. Three, in fact. And with the wedding boat docked in the middle of the Amstel River, it was more than likely that the culprit was amongst their family and friends.
Their desperate quest for answers led to Brit couple Karen and Helen hiring their pal Lauren Kilby as a mock detective for the podcast ’Who Shat On The Floor At My Wedding’ – a 13-part ‘poodunnit’ that frames itself like a tongue in cheek true-crime story.
Karen Whitehouse and Helen McLaughlin
Who shat on the floor at my wedding
Employing interrogation tactics and using lie detectors on everyone from the bridesmaids to former flames, Lauren flits between good cop and bad cop in an attempt to unmask the infamous faecal felon.
‘We really had no expectations about how big a hit it would be,’ Lauren tells Metro as we catch up to discuss the podcast’s soaring success.
‘We didn’t have a big team working on it or any feedback or hint that we were making a hit. it was pretty much the three of us plus a sound person. There were no upfront conversations about how we’d tackle it. We sort of just dived in.’
She adds: ‘We sent warnings about the podcast to everyone who attended the wedding and no one seemed to object. That would have been the perfect time for someone to fess up. I’m glad they didn’t though.
Lauren inspecting the scene of the crime
‘With no confession, that gave us permission to launch our investigation. And to be honest, nothing was going to stand in our way.’
Lauren – who works as an advertising producer – was approached by Karen and Helen in 2020 with the idea for the podcast. Out of work and in the midst of a global pandemic, she admits the possibility of being able to make people laugh drew her in.
‘I’m not sure the podcast would have happened if it hadn’t been for lockdown,’ she admits. ‘Karen and I were out of work and we all had the time to sit around and create this thing. It was great timing. And we definitely were driven by a desire to make people laugh. Especially in light of what everyone was going through.’
The trio recreated the evidence out of chocolate
Dealing with a crime of such literal foul play, Lauren, who hails from New Zealand but lives in Amsterdam, admits the trio have inadvertently become experts in all things poo related.
‘I’ve somehow positioned myself as some sort of fecal expert and I’m not sure why,’ she laughs. ‘I’ve had to hear a lot about poo in recent years and funnily enough, I’m not someone who enjoys discussing matters of poo at all.
‘We even had a sex expert who helped us explore the theory that the poo could be fetish related. Let’s just say there’s things I’ve seen that I’d like to erase from my memory…’
‘I’ve come to realise that everyone has a poo story,’ says Detective Lauren Kilby
Originally released in 2020, the Who Shat podcast recently enjoyed a boost in popularity after a rave review went viral on Twitter and it has now surpassed 6 million listens.
As well as reaching out to express their love for the podcast, Lauren says she’s been overwhelmed by the amount of poo stories fans share with her.
‘I’ve come to realise that everyone has a poo story and many have also happened at weddings. One fan said they went to a wedding and someone pooped on the print out of the vows. I mean, that’s not exactly discreet, is it? Someone else told me there was poo up the walls in one of the rooms at a wedding.’
As for Karen and Helen’s wedding day dumper, Lauren is keeping her cards close to her chest, but has her theories.
Karen and Helen got married in 2018 (Picture: Milan Goldbach Photography)
The couple held their celebrations on a boat in Amsterdam (Picture: Milan Goldbach Photography)
‘I don’t think someone did this as a dirty protest. I do think there’s something suspicious in the cover up. There’s a person who we know was responsible for cleaning it up and that man spent a lot of time in the women’s toilets on the night of the wedding.
‘I really believe he knows something but he’s told us he’d take any secrets he had to the grave.’
Fans of the Who Shat podcast won’t have to wait much longer for the hotly anticipated second series, as the trio will return this spring to tackle a fresh mystery.
‘This is a brand new crime,’ says Lauren. ‘It’s a little classier than the poo incident but it’s funny with that sinister undertone. It’s also an international crime so we get to travel a bit. Series one focused on Karen and Helen’s wedding but this mystery hits a little closer to home for me. And that’s all I’m willing to say!’
Listen to Who Shat On The Floor At My Wedding here.
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