Fashion
I got the Free People ‘micro shorts’ – a denim pair looks like ‘jundies,’ I worry about your pH balance if you wear them
A FASHION fan tried on Free People’s controversial new micro shorts out of sheer morbid curiosity.
She compared the tiny shorts to underwear and expressed genuine concern about them harming her health.
Nicole tried on Free People’s latest controversial “micro shorts”Instagram/nicolestorydent
Nicole (@nicolestorydent) shared her try-on haul in a TikTok video.
Free People’s latest launch for spring and summer garnered criticism from shoppers who deemed the shorts too tiny.
Many were concerned that the styles would let everything hang out.
“As a general rule, I prefer my shorts and skirts to be longer than my tampon string,” joked one commenter.
Nicole decided she had to see for herself how bad the damage was.
“Like many women, I was aghast when I saw this post from Free People but I ran to my shopping cart because these needed to be tried on, on a body in the wild,” she said.
“This may not be for the faint of heart,” she warned.
The first pair, a medium wash with layers of denim pocket flaps, had her in hysterics as she utilized the flaps as wings, pretending to set off for the skies to “I Believe I Can Fly.”
“It’s kind of giving waitress if they ever want to make a Waffle House Hooters hybrid,” she said.
On the upside, she did give Free People props for giving the people what they wanted.
“We have been asking for more pockets so they delivered,” she said.
“Speaking of delivered, you could deliver a baby without having to take these shorts off,” she said, moving on to the second pair of micro shorts.
“For size reference, this is a 400 month.”
Unfortunately, Nicole didn’t believe the “shorts” even qualified as shorts.
She unhooked one pair’s detachable pockets and flapped them like wingsInstagram/nicolestorydent
“I would say these are more like “jundies” or “janties” or a “jikini” at best,” she joked.
To give the shorts the good old college try, she attempted a squat test but failed before getting anywhere near the ground.
Luckily, there were other variations to test out the squat test with.
“Just in case you were thinking, they’re just a little too casual for me. They come in plaid,” she said, showing off the white plaid shorts.
Nicole renamed a pair of denim shorts “jundies or janties or a jikini”Instagram/nicolestorydent
“Millenials know a thing or two about going from business to the club and I feel like we missed an opportunity to go this route with it,” she said.
Free People, or as Nicole dubbed the company, “Free Peephole,” seemed to have covered all their bases with a vegan leather pair meant for nights on the town, although Nicole appeared to disagree.
“There’s nothing vegan about these because there’s absolutely a cat being harmed while wearing these,” she said.
“And the name for this color on the website is Tofu and I would like to petition them to change that to Camel Toe-fu.”
She joked that a plaid option would be a great transitional piece from work to the clubInstagram/nicolestorydent
A red, pink, and orange striped pair also greatly displeased her.
“It’s as though my grandmother were knitting me a pair of appropriately- lengthened shorts and died halfway through but I still wear them in her honor,” she said gravely.
Although Nicole planned on returning the shorts and getting her money back, she was still disturbed by the shorts’ potential impact on the larger world.
“I worry about the pH balance of women that do wear these regularly,” she said.
She added that a vegan leather pair “harmed” her “cat”Instagram/nicolestorydent
“They should probably come with tampons where if you wear it over eight hours, you should go to the hospital.
“And I do feel bad to return these… because I feel like they know me so personally now, it feels like I should at least make them breakfast.
“I’ll text y’all,” she said to the shorts.
One mom recognized the design of the shorts, although she was shocked to see that she had missed the memo on the brand’s collab with a diaper company.
Instagram/nicolestorydentA multi-colored pair reminded her of something her grandmother would make[/caption]
“I must have missed the announcement that Free People was doing a collaboration with Depend,” she said.
“It’s giving denim roast beef,” said another.
“The first is giving Shakespeare-era shorts,” said a third.
One woman thought Free People had been over-eager in accommodating customer requests.
“When women asked for more pockets, they didn’t mean to put them all on one garment,” she said.
People joked that Free People misunderstood when they requested more pockets in their clothesInstagram/nicolestorydent
Some thought the shorts would do well, in terms of sales, while many thought they shouldn’t be on the market at all.
“There are dozens of them sold,” quipped one commenter.
“Couldn’t Free People just ship a pair to the five people they would look good on?” said another.
Nicole warned shoppers not to wear the shorts for too long, in fear of throwing off their pH balanceInstagram/nicolestorydent
A FASHION fan tried on Free People’s controversial new micro shorts out of sheer morbid curiosity.
She compared the tiny shorts to underwear and expressed genuine concern about them harming her health.
Nicole tried on Free People’s latest controversial “micro shorts”Instagram/nicolestorydent
Nicole (@nicolestorydent) shared her try-on haul in a TikTok video.
Free People’s latest launch for spring and summer garnered criticism from shoppers who deemed the shorts too tiny.
Many were concerned that the styles would let everything hang out.
“As a general rule, I prefer my shorts and skirts to be longer than my tampon string,” joked one commenter.
Nicole decided she had to see for herself how bad the damage was.
“Like many women, I was aghast when I saw this post from Free People but I ran to my shopping cart because these needed to be tried on, on a body in the wild,” she said.
“This may not be for the faint of heart,” she warned.
The first pair, a medium wash with layers of denim pocket flaps, had her in hysterics as she utilized the flaps as wings, pretending to set off for the skies to “I Believe I Can Fly.”
“It’s kind of giving waitress if they ever want to make a Waffle House Hooters hybrid,” she said.
On the upside, she did give Free People props for giving the people what they wanted.
“We have been asking for more pockets so they delivered,” she said.
“Speaking of delivered, you could deliver a baby without having to take these shorts off,” she said, moving on to the second pair of micro shorts.
“For size reference, this is a 400 month.”
Unfortunately, Nicole didn’t believe the “shorts” even qualified as shorts.
She unhooked one pair’s detachable pockets and flapped them like wingsInstagram/nicolestorydent
“I would say these are more like “jundies” or “janties” or a “jikini” at best,” she joked.
To give the shorts the good old college try, she attempted a squat test but failed before getting anywhere near the ground.
Luckily, there were other variations to test out the squat test with.
“Just in case you were thinking, they’re just a little too casual for me. They come in plaid,” she said, showing off the white plaid shorts.
Nicole renamed a pair of denim shorts “jundies or janties or a jikini”Instagram/nicolestorydent
“Millenials know a thing or two about going from business to the club and I feel like we missed an opportunity to go this route with it,” she said.
Free People, or as Nicole dubbed the company, “Free Peephole,” seemed to have covered all their bases with a vegan leather pair meant for nights on the town, although Nicole appeared to disagree.
“There’s nothing vegan about these because there’s absolutely a cat being harmed while wearing these,” she said.
“And the name for this color on the website is Tofu and I would like to petition them to change that to Camel Toe-fu.”
She joked that a plaid option would be a great transitional piece from work to the clubInstagram/nicolestorydent
A red, pink, and orange striped pair also greatly displeased her.
“It’s as though my grandmother were knitting me a pair of appropriately- lengthened shorts and died halfway through but I still wear them in her honor,” she said gravely.
Although Nicole planned on returning the shorts and getting her money back, she was still disturbed by the shorts’ potential impact on the larger world.
“I worry about the pH balance of women that do wear these regularly,” she said.
She added that a vegan leather pair “harmed” her “cat”Instagram/nicolestorydent
“They should probably come with tampons where if you wear it over eight hours, you should go to the hospital.
“And I do feel bad to return these… because I feel like they know me so personally now, it feels like I should at least make them breakfast.
“I’ll text y’all,” she said to the shorts.
One mom recognized the design of the shorts, although she was shocked to see that she had missed the memo on the brand’s collab with a diaper company.
Instagram/nicolestorydentA multi-colored pair reminded her of something her grandmother would make[/caption]
“I must have missed the announcement that Free People was doing a collaboration with Depend,” she said.
“It’s giving denim roast beef,” said another.
“The first is giving Shakespeare-era shorts,” said a third.
One woman thought Free People had been over-eager in accommodating customer requests.
“When women asked for more pockets, they didn’t mean to put them all on one garment,” she said.
People joked that Free People misunderstood when they requested more pockets in their clothesInstagram/nicolestorydent
Some thought the shorts would do well, in terms of sales, while many thought they shouldn’t be on the market at all.
“There are dozens of them sold,” quipped one commenter.
“Couldn’t Free People just ship a pair to the five people they would look good on?” said another.
Nicole warned shoppers not to wear the shorts for too long, in fear of throwing off their pH balanceInstagram/nicolestorydentFashion – Latest Style News And Fabulous Trends | The Sun
