Why we need toxic men on reality TV shows-Kitty Chrisp-Entertainment – Metro

Jack Dunkley was this series’ villain husband (Picture: Nine)

As reality TV insults go, Lauren Dunn describing her fellow Married at First Sight (MAFS) contestant Jack Dunkley, 34, as a ‘glazed ham’ will take some beating. 

But as MAFS wraps up in the UK this evening with final decisions from couples on whether to stay together, personal trainer Jack, who was matched with Tori Adams, 27, is, in my opinion, just the latest example of toxic male behaviour on reality television. 

Jack showed his true colours early in the show, telling Jonathan McCullogh to ‘muzzle your woman’ in reference to Jono’s wife Lauren Dunn. 

Watching Jack, like watching countless other peacocking men on our screens through the years, is grim viewing. But I believe it’s essential. 

If these men didn’t appear on reality TV shows like Love Island and Married at First Sight (MAFS) then it wouldn’t be reality: it would be a glossy version of the type of man women have to put up with time and time again in the real world. 

By putting these men and their appalling behaviour on public display, reality TV has the power to ignite real conversation surrounding problematic men, and how to sniff them out. 

It appears Tori Adams is still with Jack (Picture: Nine)

So it has been crucial to watch Tori, who entered the experiment as a self-proclaimed strong, independent woman and has left admitting she is giving ‘codependent’ vibes towards the man I’ve branded this season’s weasel.  

Plenty of us, in the ‘real world’ will have had friends like Tori, who can’t seem to see the truth about their partner – in Jack’s case, the red flags of him continually describing himself as an ‘alpha’ and talking about how much he’s into submissive women.

It seemed he could do or say anything and she would turn a blind eye, acting out his ideal of a good, loyal wife. 

Even at the beginning of the season when it was leaked that he had a girlfriend on the outside who he broke up with to be on the show, Tori justified it and stuck by Jack, as he casually painted his former girlfriend as a ‘disgruntled ex’. Hello sexism my old friend.

‘She’s shown me her loyalty,’ Jack told the cameras in last night’s episode, which ended on the cliffhanger of whether they would decide to stay together in real life, outside the televised experiment.

He went on to express concern that Tori was becoming ‘a bit more insecure’ and ‘needy’-  which he labelled sweet. How is watching your partner feel insecure in your relationship, sweetly, exactly? Surely that would be distressing? 

It’s been uncomfortable viewing (Picture: Nine)

Well, spoiler alert: they are still together. While Tori says she is content and expressed in the final vows – already aired in Australia and coming later tonight in the UK – that he’s her ‘equal’ and ‘soul mate,’ I can’t help but worry that she’s with a toxic rotter. 

The point is: we can all see him, even if Tori can’t. Just like we could see knucklehead Harrison Boon last season, who made lovely wife Bronte Schofield’s life a living hell, and see the countless men who have walked through the Love Island villa with their muscular chests puffed up. 

Many would say this level of toxic behaviour is unacceptable to be broadcast on TV and made into entertainment. I would disagree – letting misogyny thrive on reality TV unchecked is problematic, but not seeing it at all is even more so.

It’s unfortunate that Tori has seemingly become a living example of what not to put up with in a man.

She shouldn’t have casually brushed aside his apparent misogyny as a minor character flaw, rather than the incredibly dangerous worldview that it is.

But Tori said it herself, that she’s ‘infatuated’ with Jack. That’s never a healthy place to be.

When he eventually lets her down – which I firmly believe he will – she will re-enter the world of reason. We’ve all seen people be in situations like Tori’s. And that’s why it is so crucial to see it on the reality TV that is supposed to reflect our lives. 

Final vows are airing in the UK tonight (Picture: Nine)

I wonder if some of my friends had seen Jack on MAFS before, it could have armed them with protective shields against similar men who stole years from their lives, playing them like fiddles. Likewise, I wonder if these conversations might make men think twice about their own behaviour. 

This is why it is important not to hide toxic men in the shadows. They’re still very much thriving in the real world, so waving their red flags in plain sight on TV is the only way forward.

Normalising toxic behaviour on TV is a risk, but it is unfortunately the normality women are living in – and that mustn’t be ignored.

Thanks to Jack, MAFS and Tori, millions of women who tune in for the drama will leave armed with knowledge of what toxic behaviour looks like. 

They will know how to avoid it, before they’re in too deep – packing up their bags and heading down under to be with a glazed ham.

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