Sir Ian McKellen opens up about the ‘shame’ he feels after onstage fall: ‘I’ve relived that nightmare over and over’-Brooke Ivey Johnson-Entertainment – Metro

Sir Ian McKellen has opened up about his horror onstage fall (Picture: Getty Images)

At 85 years old, Sir Ian McKellen has seen more than his share of dramatic moments, both onstage and off.

But none have been as frightening as the accident that left him questioning whether he could continue acting at all.

In a candid recent interview, McKellen opened up about the harrowing fall from the West End stage that abruptly ended the production of Player Kings and the physical and emotional toll it has taken on him.

It was horrible,’ McKellen said. ‘I’ve relived that fall I don’t know how many times.’

The accident occurred during a particularly intense battle scene. McKellen’s foot got caught in a chair, and in trying to shake it loose, he began to slide on scattered newspaper across the stage.

‘Like I was on a skateboard,’ he recalled to Saga Magazine, describing the surreal and terrifying experience. ‘The more I tried to get rid of it, the faster I proceeded down a step, onto the forestage, and then onto the lap of someone in the front row. I started screaming, “Help me!” and then “I’m sorry! I don’t do this!”‘

The fall happened when as Sir Ian was playing Falstaff in Player Kings (Picture: Getty Images)

The fall resulted in chipped vertebrae and a fractured wrist, injuries that continue to plague the veteran actor.

‘My chipped vertebrae and fractured wrist are not yet mended. I don’t go out because I get nervous in case someone bangs into me, and I’ve got agonizing pains in my shoulders to do with my whole frame having been jolted,’ he shared.

The emotional impact has been just as profound as the physical symptoms. McKellen confessed to battling fears that his age may be catching up with him, threatening his ability to continue doing what he loves.

‘I thought it was the end of something,’ he admitted. ‘It was very upsetting. The end didn’t mean my death. It was my participation in the play. I have to keep assuring myself that I’m not too old to act and it was just a bloody accident. I didn’t lose consciousness, I hadn’t been dizzy, but I’ve not been able to go back and they still played without me.’

Sir Ian continues to suffer physical symptoms from the fall (Picture: Getty Images)

McKellen also grappled with a sense of shame for not being able to fulfill the ‘show-must-go-on’ ethos that is so deeply ingrained in the theatre world.

‘I don’t feel guilty, but the accident has let down the whole production,’ he said. ‘I feel such shame. I was hoping to be able to rejoin the play on the tour, but I couldn’t.’

The fall also served as an unexpected reminder of the fragility of life and the support systems that we often take for granted.

‘My beloved friends next door – there’s a door connecting our houses. And four young friends, one gay couple and one straight couple, shop and cook for me. I couldn’t manage without them. If they weren’t there I suppose I’d have to employ somebody to do that or go to a home for a spell,’ he shared, expressing gratitude for the friends who have helped him through his recovery.

In a surprising twist, McKellen revealed that the fat suit he wore for his role as Falstaff may have saved him from even more serious injuries.

‘I was wearing a fat suit for Falstaff and that saved my ribs and other joints. So I’ve had a lucky escape really but… tell Saga readers to watch their step,’ he added.

The actor also opened up about the shame he feels for the fall (Picture: Getty Images)

Following the accident, McKellen was rushed to the hospital, where he spent three nights undergoing tests and receiving treatment.

Although he had initially hoped to return to the stage after a brief rest, it soon became clear that he would not be able to complete the run of Player Kings. His understudy, David Semark, stepped into the role for the final performances.

In a statement issued to Metro.co.uk, McKellen reassured his fans that he was on the mend. ‘After three nights in hospital, the effects of my fall onstage have been fully analyzed and I’m now having physiotherapy, light exercise, and a lot of essential rest at home,’ he said at the time.

The actor said the fall has made him feel his age (Picture: Getty Images)

‘Meanwhile, my part in Player Kings is filled by the redoubtable David Semark, supported by Robert Icke’s amazing production and cast. The many messages of love and support will, I am sure, aid the speedy recovery that my doctors have promised me.’

The Noël Coward Theatre, where the incident occurred, also issued a statement expressing their regret and offering support to McKellen and the other performers involved. ‘We maintain the highest standards of safety and are conducting a thorough investigation with the producers. We have been in regular contact with those involved to offer support and assistance from the moment it happened and will continue to do so. We wish Johanna and Sir Ian full and speedy recoveries.’

As Sir Ian McKellen continues his recovery, fans continue to hope he may once again return to the stage soon.

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