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Childhood abuse makes me unable to enjoy sex
DEAR DEIDRE: AS a child, I was sexually abused and now I don’t think I’ll ever be able to orgasm.
I am 27, my boyfriend is 29 and we have been together for three years.
I can’t fully enjoy sex after my traumatic childhood
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He’s not the problem – I am. I’ve never been able to orgasm, not with previous partners or even on my own.
Absolutely nothing does the trick. Even steamy sex scenes on TV do not help.
All I feel is sickness and guilt for touching myself down there.
I realise I’m probably like this because my uncle abused me when I was younger.
But I can’t bring myself to tell my boyfriend the truth about my past.
The only person I ever told was my mum.
She refused to believe what her brother did and cut me off.
I haven’t seen her in ten years.
What if he doesn’t believe me either?
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DEIDRE SAYS: It’s very likely that sexual abuse has affected your ability to enjoy intimacy.
Please be reassured, this is absolutely not your fault.
The responsibility for the abuse lies entirely with your uncle.
You’re holding all this hurt inside but talking to a counsellor can help you overcome this.
It’s never too late to start healing the abuse and your mum’s refusal to believe you.
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You don’t have to tell your partner about your past but it might bring you closer and stronger in your relationship.
Why not give him a chance to show his love for you?
