‘I knew something wasn’t right when I was on The X Factor’-Ruth Lawes-Entertainment – Metro

Dylan Holloway looks back on his time on The X Factor fondly – even though he felt a ‘burning scream’ in the pit of his stomach.

The 31-year-old was one-half of hip-hop duo MK1, along with Simeon Dixon, and reached the live finals under the mentorship of Louis Walsh in 2012.

More than a decade later Dylan told Metro.co.uk he has finally found his voice as an artist beginning medically transitioning into a man during the pandemic.

‘I finally realised the person I’d become was a caricature that I’d embellished and a bravado for TV,’ he recalled of the moment he started his gender affirmation surgery.

‘I always knew I was a trans guy, but I was on such an autopilot trying to become the person that I thought everyone wanted me to be.

‘I felt I had strayed very far from the path that my life is supposed to be on and I wanted just to return to myself and learn about who I was and make that kind of music again.’

Dylan Holloway first shot to fame on The X Factor 12 years ago (Picture: dylanandthemoon/Instagram)

Dylan, pictured with Lewis Capaldi, works as a solo artist with his band (Picture: dylanandthemoon/Instagram)

A picture of Dylan on The X Factor in 2012, shared with permission and support from him (Picture: Ken McKay/Thames/REX/Shutterstock)

Dylan said there was footage of him on his fourth birthday referring to himself as his sibling’s ‘brother’ but ‘suppressed and repressed’ his true self for years.

In his teenage years, he came out as being attracted to women in the hope that would be ‘enough of the life’ he wanted.

‘If I can at least marry a girl – that’ll be enough – at least if I could do then maybe I’ll be happy,’ the singer explained.

‘And I did meet a wonderful girl that I was with for six or seven years, but it just always lived there inside me – this burning scream of there’s something more, there’s something else- that life isn’t quite right.’

Dylan said he was putting on a ‘bravado’ on X Factor as he wasn’t being himself (Picture: dylanandthemoon/Instagram)

At age 26, Dylan came out as a trans man and for the following four years became ‘more like myself’ but was missing the ‘final piece of the puzzle.’

In 2020, with the support of friends and family, he pursued a medical transition and first had top surgery.

Dylan said trans men tend to start with testosterone but he was ‘really scared’ it would impact his voice.

He explained: ‘My voice was the only place I’d ever felt safe – me being on stage and me writing songs, and me finding it hard to open up as a child and open up and be who I am – I used to write music to get those feelings out of me.

He came out as a trans man aged 26 and began medically transitioning several years later (Picture: dylanandthemoon/Instagram)

‘Music also seemed to be the reason that I had my friends – and what if I lose that? What do I have then?

‘And also, [my voice] was my career – it was how I was making money. So what on earth do I do if, for some reason, it makes my voice sound bad?

‘But I made the decision that I would have to put myself and my want to be on this earth first. And if I had to lose music for that, then so be it.

Dylan added: ‘It all panned out well for me in the end. I much prefer my voice now. I think it sounds nice. I think sounds richer.’

Dylan performs duets with clips of his former selves (Picture: dylanandthemoon/Instagram)

Now, the musician often posts clips of himself harmonising with himself prior to transitioning because he wanted to ’embrace the past version of himself.’

‘When I saw videos and images of Lots and Charlie and MK1 and all my previous selves, I realised that person is the person that brought me to be Dylan.

‘And it would be almost cruel of me to put that person in a box and forget all about them because that person was brave and resilient and powerful and changed my life – and brought me to this happy place.

‘I wanted other people to know that it’s okay to embrace who you’ve been because they’ve made you who you are, and that we can look at all like past versions of ourselves with love if we want to.

‘It works for me – but it might not work for other people.’

Among Dylan’s biggest supporters have been his X Factor fans: ‘Everyone who was a fan before is a fan now, I’ve had a bunch of girls on Tiktok and Instagram saying “Oh, I fancied you then, and I fancy you now.”‘

He also recently bumped into his former X Factor co-star – the nation’s hun, Rylan Clark – in London who was a ‘top lad.’

‘It was probably the first time he saw me since I transitioned,’ he recalled.

‘And he was like,” Oh, you sexy man. Honestly, Dyl, you look you look amazing, right? Super sexy.” So that was quite nice.’

Dylan does not regularly meet up with his fellow X Factor stars – but said there was an active 2012 WhatsApp group where they all congratulate each other on their successes.

He had a blast on The X Factor, saying: ‘It was a fun experience to do something so unusual: it’s not every day you end up being part of the live shows on The X Factor. It was an adventure, that’s what I’d call it.’

Dylan has been making waves with his new music (Picture: dylanandthemoon/Instagram)

Dylan described his former mentor Louis as ‘vibrant’ – but hiding a secret inner steel.

He said: ‘I do think he’s a smarter guy than he lets on. He has a lovable character, and people fall for that, but behind the scenes, to me, it seemed he was very switched on and knew how to make music business decisions.

‘He was very supportive of Sim and I – and it always seemed genuine to me.’

After The X Factor, Dylan toured with MK1 in venues across the country before deciding to part ways around 2015 as they wanted to pursue different styles of music.

Now ,he has reinvented his musical act as Dylan and the Moon – and described his music as ‘indie pop, big hooks, heavy drums, guitar, indie, nostalgic. It’s just fun.’

Dylan has a single out next week called Bones, which is part of his upcoming EP Mosaic.

The record celebrates the ‘little moments we have with people and the magic in tiny places’ that form the tapestry of our lives.

Dylan will also perform at The Old Blue Last in Shoreditch, London with his live band, on October 26th.

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