Entertainment
‘I was smiling like a happy pop star but all I wanted to do was cry’-Emily Bashforth-Entertainment – Metro
‘I had to pretend I was happy, because who am I to be depressed?’
Natasha Hamilton opens up about her 26 years in Atomic Kitten after leaving the band (Picture: Getty/Shutterstock)
Having officially left Atomic Kitten after 26 years in the iconic pop group, Natasha Hamilton is opening up about their early days and reveals just how tough things got.
The Whole Again hitmaker joined the Kittens when she was just a teen in 1998, performing alongside Kerry Katona, Liz McClarnon, and later Jenny Frost.
Atomic Kitten became one of the UK’s most successful bands, whether through awards, record sales, or sold-out tours, and built a die-hard fanbase who supported them from the trio’s infancy, right until their nostalgia gigs post-2013.
However, while being part of a girl band certainly looks nothing short of glamorous on the surface, behind closed doors, Natasha wasn’t always feeling on top form, particularly when she returned to the stage after the birth of her first child.
Chatting exclusively to Metro, the 42-year-old singer recalls the immense pressure she felt to be a bubbly, bouncy pop star just weeks after welcoming son Josh in 2002.
‘I ended up with postnatal depression, and there was a lot of pressure on my shoulders to be back in work after having Josh and I’d had a C-section. I hadn’t done one exercise class, only been on a few walks, and my first show back was a Disney show,’ she recounts.
Natasha was just a teenager when she joined the Kittens alongside Kerry Katona and Liz McClarnon (Picture: REX/Shutterstock)
Since 2013, the group performed their nostalgic hits over and over (Picture: Ken McKay/REX/Shutterstock)
‘I’m wearing high heels, three pairs of Spanx, I’m in pain, my ankles hurt, my tummy hurts, and I’m smiling like a really happy pop star, but all I wanted to do was cry.
‘I had changed, but the environment hadn’t and there was nothing to accommodate for me.’
She admits to finding the shift ‘very difficult’, especially as her bandmates were not yet parents and so couldn’t relate to her struggles.
‘I had to put on a show and pretend I was happy, because who am I to be depressed? I’m in the number one band in the UK, I’ve got all this money, I’ve got a lovely house, I’ve got a beautiful baby… why should I be down?’
Reminiscing on Atomic Kitten’s heyday in the wake of Liam Payne’s shocking death at just 31, Natasha admits the loss of the One Direction star, who also found fame as a teenager on The X Factor, hits close to home.
The Liverpudlian was prescribed Prozac at 17, which is an antidepressant used to treat conditions including depression, anxiety, and panic disorder.
Natasha wishes the group had more mental health support in the 2000s (Picture: Joseph Okpako/WireImage for ABA)
She was prescribed antidepressants at 17 (Picture: Alan Davidson/REX/Shutterstock)
Looking back, she admits it’s ‘terrifying’ that she was put on such a strong form of medication at a tender age, insisting it’s ‘not the right thing to do’ without offering some form of talking therapy first.
Alas, in the early 2000s, Atomic Kitten were left to fend for themselves.
‘We should’ve had a coach or a counsellor every week checking in. It should’ve been mandatory. We probably would’ve learnt a lot more about ourselves and not have gone through as much trauma,’ says Natasha.
‘I think we would’ve had a more successful longevity as the three of us because it gets to a point where you’re like, “I don’t want this anymore,” and it’s because you can’t cope.’
Thankfully, in her later years as a musician, Natasha has established a sturdy support network, having previously been terrified of legal consequences if Atomic Kitten had to pull a gig because she, the lead singer, was unwell.
Despite this, she has fond memories of her time in the band, feeling especially proud of how they encouraged other young, working-class girls to dream big and create music that has stood the test of time.
Natasha is now forging a solo career for herself (Picture: Shirlaine Forrest/Getty Images for The National Lottery)
Natasha, whose partner is Charles Gay, welcomed her fifth child last year (Picture: Instagram)
‘I went against the grain all those years ago. In 1999, three Scouse kids actually being successful was probably laughed at, and there were publications who said nasty things about Atomic Kitten but never let it faze us. It spurred us on even more to prove a point.’
That drive is now fuelling Natasha’s solo career as she embarks on an exciting chapter, having spent years out of the studio as she and fellow member Liz, 43, didn’t record any original music after reuniting.
Natasha acknowledges that 2024 felt like ‘the right time’ to step back from the group, having worried she would come to ‘resent’ it if she carried on while her heart wasn’t in it.
‘Atomic Kitten has brought me so much joy over 26 years, but it got to a point where it was very restrictive,’ she explains, describing life in the band as ‘repetitive’ and hard for her to be ‘confined to’ as a creative.
‘I spoke to Liz about it and said, “Look, it really is time for me to leave because it is getting to a point where I’m not enjoying it anymore,” because I wanted more,’ she shares, noting that Liz understands her reasons for closing that door.
‘It would’ve been great to do something new and get back on the road with the girls; I always had faith that may happen, but as time went on, it was pretty obvious it wasn’t going to.
‘I just thought, I need to focus fully on the other things that are bringing a lot of excitement and joy to my life.’
In May this year, Natasha released Edge of Us as the lead single from her debut EP, before her second single, You Don’t Know Me, dropped.
On the ‘liberating’ experience of being a soloist, having previously experimented in the studio with albums that haven’t seen the light of day, Natasha promises there’s plenty to look forward to as this era has been ‘a long time coming’.
‘This year I’ve launched my own music under my own record label, I’ve got a toddler and other children at home, and it’s a lot to juggle.
‘Sometimes there never is a right time; you’ve just got to have the guts to go out there and do it. This is just the beginning.’
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