‘Liam Payne was more to us than just a singer, don’t shame us for grieving’-Emily Bashforth-Entertainment – Metro

It’s been one month since One Direction star Liam Payne died at the tender age of 31 (Picture: Christopher Polk/Getty Images for iHeartMedia)

Amy Winehouse, Prince, George Michael, Michael Jackson… all celebrities whose deaths undeniably shook fans to the core before millions descended into weeks-long periods of mourning.

However, the death of Liam Payne sparked unquantifiable mass grief in a way no celebrity death ever has—and fans aren’t ashamed to express that.

One month ago today, the beloved pop star died after suffering a fatal fall from the third-floor balcony of his hotel suite in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

The One Direction member was just 31 years old, leaving behind not only a catalogue of unreleased solo music and career plans that will now never come to fruition but a heartbroken family and a seven-year-old boy.

Payne’s untimely death saw thousands flocking to candlelit vigils around the world, simply to hold one another as they sobbed out their anguish, while others flooded social media with crushing personal tributes, and some even got inked with 1D designs in his honour.

Amidst this wave of mourning, though, stemmed important conversations about the nature of grief and specifically how we ought to do it when it concerns someone so famous.

The singer suffered a fatal fall from his hotel balcony in Argentina (Picture: Nathan Congleton/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)

There isn’t a handbook for grief, of course – life would be far simpler if there were. But over the past four weeks, Directioners worldwide have been forced to come to terms with a loss so great that life will never be the same for them.

A multitude of factors contribute to why Payne’s death is so devastating. His tender age, the fact that his son, Bear, now grows up without his daddy, the musician’s history with addiction, plus the complex circumstances surrounding the tragedy.

Speaking to Metro, devout 1D fan Hoor Pathan, 22, explains that accepting such a catastrophe is difficult because, despite his astronomical stardom, she perceived Payne as much more than a boyband heartthrob.

‘Liam’s passing still doesn’t feel real,’ she shares. ‘He wasn’t just a singer; he was a source of comfort for many during some of life’s hardest moments.’

Having grown up with One Direction, who formed on The X Factor in 2010 when all its members were just teenagers, she adds: ‘The attachment to him and the band filled a space that many of us needed, and it’s heartbreaking to think that behind the scenes, he may have been struggling.

Payne spoke candidly about his personal woes, having grappled with agoraphobia at the peak of his fame, as well as alcoholism and drug use. It’s believed he bravely entered rehab just months ago.

Yet on the surface, his life couldn’t have seemed more dazzling. Millions in the bank, a gorgeous home, a stunning girlfriend, and a loyal fanbase prepared to do battle for him. Hoor adds that this ultimately reminds us to ‘check in on the people we care about, even those who seem fine.’

Payne was famously close with his fanbase (Picture: SWNS)

He found fame on The X Factor in 2010, alongside Zayn Malik, Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan, and Harry Styles (Picture: Ken McKay/TalkbackThames/REX)

She praises the sense of community that has arisen from Payne’s death, explaining that while many people won’t understand it, a fan’s grief is still valid.

‘Social media amplifies it all. Grief spreads quickly, and we face constant updates, theories, and tributes. It can be overwhelming when you’re already trying to process something so raw.’

On what makes Payne’s death almost unfathomable, Hoor says losing such a vibrant, creative personality at a young age feels ‘inherently unfair’ as ‘he had so much life ahead of him.’

‘Plus, fans resonated with his mental health struggles. It adds a layer of sadness because it’s clear he was carrying so much, even while continuing to give his fans everything.’

Indeed, Payne struck up an unbreakable bond with his supporters, having been branded ‘Daddy Direction’ in the early days and continuously interacting with fans online, whether it be via tweets or live streams.

Having felt his presence in her life in one way or another almost daily, Hoor certainly isn’t the only fan feeling like a part of themselves died when the Strip That Down hitmaker did.

Offering an insight into why the magnitude of this loss is so significant, psychotherapist Noel McDermott acknowledges that it’s a generation-defining moment, and fans’ intense grief isn’t to be dismissed—this is close to home.

‘Coming from The X Factor has always made One Direction seem relatable, which creates an “It could be me” feeling,’ he details.

Fans have flooded to memorials in their thousands (Picture: Reuters)

The grief is bone-deep (Picture: James Veysey/Shutterstock)

Millions grew up with Payne and his music (Picture: Scott A Garfitt/Invision/AP)

‘Plus, he was open about his vulnerabilities, again making him more human. We can project more of our emotional material onto people who seem like us but also who have overcome struggles.

‘In Liam’s case, it is probably true that many of those struggles remain unresolved in the lives of the fans relating to him, and it’s always more complex to grieve when there are unresolved issues.’

Noel adds that the ‘complexities’ in grieving for Payne are fuelled by the unanswered questions surrounding what happened. After his body was flown back to the UK, three people were charged in connection with the fatality, while raids were conducted after drugs were found in the musician’s system.

An investigation will be ongoing for some time, leaving Payne’s loved ones to lay him to rest without knowing the full story.

Over the coming months, Noel stresses the importance of fans allowing themselves to feel how they feel because death isn’t necessarily less painful just because the person was well known.

‘Symbolic emotional relationships are just as important to adults as any other relationship. Empathy is crucial for us as social animals.

‘It’s closely related to a mental function called theory of mind that develops in us as children. For people isolated from real-world relationships for whatever reason, symbolic relationships like this can be a lifeline.’

One Direction became the biggest boyband of all time (Picture: David Fisher/Shutterstock)

Payne is survived by a seven-year-old, Bear, whom he shares with ex-partner Cheryl (Picture: Instagram)

However, it’s worth remembering that even symbolic relationships come with boundaries.

Parasocialism involves a connection between a person and someone they do not know personally. In this instance, it’s caused some fans to overstep boundaries in their grief, perhaps inadvertently.

Sure, parasocial relationships indicate a person’s compassion, but when it results in turning up at a family member’s home, it’s worth considering that there still ought to be a clear divide between those who knew Payne in real life and those who didn’t.

‘Our connections are powerful, but that doesn’t mean it’s right to start investigating Liam’s death ourselves. We must honour his legacy in a way that respects those closest to him,’ says Hoor.

‘Similarly, how some have sought to “judge” the tributes shared by each of his bandmates has been very insensitive. 

‘As fans, naturally, we are experiencing a deep sense of loss and it’s OK to mourn him through sharing memories and celebrating his life, but those in his life are carrying a different kind of pain. It’s vital to make space for both the public and private sides of grief.’

His father, Geoff Payne, recently brought his only son’s body home from South America (Picture: AP)

Fans are reminded of the unimaginable grief his family will be experiencing, hence the importance of respecting boundaries (Picture: Express & Star/SWNS)

That being said, may the takeaway point be that the capacity to feel such overwhelming grief for a person you’ve likely never met is not abnormal—it shows humanity.

‘Don’t allow your feelings of loss to be shamed by others,’ Noel encourages.

‘The capacity to feel loss sits alongside the capacity to love. Loss is the price of love.’

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