Ian H Watkins: Having been in a same-sex dance pairing, I have advice for Strictly’s John Whaite

I know exactly what John’s going through right now (Picture: BBC/PA)

I did a BBC show in 2014 called Tumble and I’ll never forget asking one of the producers if I could partner up with a man for the upcoming gymnastics routines.

I was told: ‘No, that’s not very BBC.’ 

The opposite-sex partner I ended up with, Holly Johnstone, was absolutely incredible but I still felt like I wasn’t being my true self. I really thought I was doing myself and my community a disservice but I wanted to do the show so much that I agreed to the partnership.

So when I saw last week that John Whaite will be in the first all-male pairing on Strictly Come Dancing later this year, I was absolutely thrilled for him.

Along with Nicola Adams in her same-sex pairing with Katya Jones last year, I finally feel like the BBC is giving LGBT+ people the representation we deserve on a primetime reality TV dancing competition.

I know exactly what John’s going through right now.

In 2019, I applied for ITV’s Dancing On Ice and got the call later that year that I was going to be on the show. I was over the moon because I’d applied a few times before but hadn’t made the cut.

When it came to asking for a same-sex pairing, it wasn’t a stipulation where I said ‘I won’t do this unless you give me this’, but I did say ‘this is how I’d like to be presented and if you don’t want to go down that route, then I’ll just bow out’.

It was all very nice and amicable, but they were totally up for the idea and backed me 1000%. To get that green light for myself and the LGBT+ community felt incredible. It was so important for me to be my authentic self on television and more so, for my children to see me being true to myself, too.

They know that daddy is still looking for his prince and even though they actually thought that my dancing partner Matt Evers was my prince charming (he was, and still is, but it never went down that route!), allowing them to see a same-sex pairing as part of everyday life was my biggest incentive to do the show.

As soon as my place and partner was publicly announced, it was an overwhelmingly positive reaction. There were a very small amount of negative tweets and even some Ofcom complaints, which came from people resisting change or who didn’t believe in equality and visibility, but I brushed these all off.

I just focused on the love and kept to my gruelling training schedule. Nothing prepared me for the amount of brutal, physical work that’s involved. You’re gliding on knives and hard water, which is quite different to wearing a pair of jazz shoes! 

I knew that there was a lot riding on that first three-minute dance (Picture: Matt Frost/ITV/REX)

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous but it was actually one of my best friends, Gareth Thomas, who helped encourage me. He’d done the show before and told me: ‘The second you slide out onto the ice, you’ve won’. As soon as he said that, all of my anxiety and worry went away. 

When we eventually made our debut on the show for our first routine in January, the mood around the rink was electric. I have many unforgettable moments in my career but this was something else. 

I knew that there was a lot riding on that first three-minute dance but thankfully I didn’t put a foot wrong. Afterwards, I gave Matt a hug and cried, then saw Gareth and his husband standing up in the audience crying too. 

When I gave Holly Willoughby and Philip Schofield a hug, they said they’d never felt the atmosphere be as gripped in the studio in all of their years of doing the show. It felt like such a privilege. 

After that debut performance, I actually received a message from a Strictly producer that read: ‘You should’ve waited for us.’ I simply responded: ‘Too late!’

One of the biggest challenges we faced throughout the competition was doing lifts. There are actually no rules about lifts or lifting a partner in DOI. Matt was a little bit taller than me but we were roughly a similar build so we did a lot of counterbalance work – just meaning strongman lifts based on Cirque du Soleil movements. We wanted to show a very dynamic but powerful side of two men dancing together.

I had so much fun throughout the competition (Picture: Matt Frost/ITV/REX)

One unique challenge we had was in a move we did called the ‘roll up’. Matt would pick me up and I rolled my front on his shoulders like a rolling pin, which would usually be fine for a woman to do. Unfortunately, every time we did it, my nuts got in the way!

I had so much fun throughout the competition but Matt and I were the sixth couple to exit the show that season. At the end of my elimination, I couldn’t help but send a cheeky little message, so I turned to the camera and said: ‘Strictly, it’s your turn now’.

Sure enough, Strictly took me up on my challenge and Nicola competed in last year’s show – doing brilliantly. I felt immensely proud of her because there was another member of our community being represented.

In between being up to my eyeballs with my children in lockdown, I watched her first performance and thought she absolutely smashed it. She was so full of life and enthusiasm, it was just such a shame she had to bow out because Katya tested positive for coronavirus.

Then when I saw John’s announcement last week, I felt so proud for him and our LGBT+ community. This kind of thing on television starts conversation where it matters – in homes.

If I had had this type of representation when I was a child then I wouldn’t have felt so alone or isolated. I’m so glad that our lives feel like a part of everyday life now after fighting for inclusion, diversity and representation for years – especially in massive primetime TV shows.

I wish John every success with his Strictly journey (Picture: Ken McKay/ITV/REX)

After the unveiling of some of the cast last week, John and I have actually been messaging each other. He said he’s not had one negative comment and it’s been overwhelmingly positive.

He sent me a voice note that basically said, ‘You set the entire bar for this’, which just made me feel so incredibly humbled. I’m happy he’s carrying on the torch.

I’m so proud of him and really chuffed for what’s about to come. I passed on to John the same advice Gareth gave me – it doesn’t matter what you do every week because you’ve won the second you step out onto that dance floor. Of course, I still hope he goes very far in the competition!

It’d be incredible if we got to a point where we don’t have to make a fuss about this – that it’s just another same-sex pairing on a reality TV dancing show. But unfortunately you have to make a noise about these things for it to become a part of everyday life. 

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We should be celebrating the announcement because it’s momentous. We’re incredibly fortunate to live where we do because there are people in countries where it’s illegal to be gay or they’re being killed for it.

I wish John every success with his Strictly journey. His first performance will likely draw a lot of attention for the same-sex pairing, but it shouldn’t define him. When I was on Dancing On Ice, I wanted to be judged like everybody else and treated exactly the same – I imagine that’s what John will be feeling too.

Who knows, maybe I’ll be next – I’d love to do Strictly with a same-sex partner! I hope it’d be much easier than dancing on ice.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing James.Besanvalle@metro.co.uk. 

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