Jeff Brazier on not talking to his sons with Jade Goody about grief as much as he used to: ‘It doesn’t come so easily to the surface’

The TV presenter and life coach, 41, on lockdown, home-schooling and the positive effects of daily meditation.

You’re helping people with your podcast, Being Human. Are you enjoying it?

I’m really pleased with the way it has come out. There’s a lot packed into each podcast. I just hope people can take some good advice from it, or at least that it gets people thinking or shifts a perspective or two.

Through my life experience and work as a life coach, I’ve learned so much about the way we process things. While we’re all unique, we all follow very similar patterns in how we deal with trauma, shock or death [the mother of his children, Jade Goody, died aged 27 in 2009].

It would be really wasteful not to pass that knowledge on. It’s almost like second-hand car dealers — we didn’t come up with these things ourselves but it’s had an impact on our life so it might help someone else.

You’re very good at marking Jade’s life for your sons…

It’s something we’re always having to keep a check on. It’s difficult when teenagers have lost someone because they sort of shut down a bit.

Whereas we might have spoken about it a little bit more freely beforehand, now it doesn’t come so easily to the surface. That’s natural, though. We don’t talk about grief because it hurts.

How’s home-schooling going?

It’s difficult. Freddie is in his GCSE year, so it’s a big year for him, but his qualities have never lain in academia, he is more of a creative.

The sooner he’s out of education, the better, because that’s when I feel he will flourish. The education system doesn’t highlight his strengths particularly well.

It’s a difficult time for children…

Bobby, who’s 19, finds it quite easy to drift so could do lockdown for years. Whereas for Freddie, who’s 17, it’s the hardest thing he could go through because he loves social interaction.

You get up at 5am to meditate…

I was introduced to it 13 years ago but it came too early in my life. I loved it and benefited hugely from it but I couldn’t maintain it.

I’ve always considered myself a meditator, though, and if something is your identity, you’re more likely to come back to it. As much as I should be doing it morning and evening, mornings are fine. I feel like I’m being really kind to myself.

Have you changed since becoming a life coach and a grief counsellor?

It gives you a bit of a toolbox you can apply in certain situations. It doesn’t change who you are but it changes your approach to conflict, to difficult situations with your children or your partner.

You’re less likely to steam in with advice and more likely to want to ask a good question and listen, as opposed to antagonise situations because of your own need for your voice to be heard. It doesn’t always work but it does the majority of the time.

What has Covid put a stop to?

It has cost me a lot of work but it meant we could all just slow right down. And after you’ve sat on a sofa for two weeks watching Netflix, you want to do something constructive.

I’ve been self-employed for a long time so it’s not uncomfortable for me to create new opportunities. The podcast is a good example of that but I also have a clothing brand. And I put my family in the best possible place such as playing games at dinner time and stuff like that.

You can take small positives from lockdown without being insensitive to anyone who’s lost someone or their livelihood.

Bobby is doing some modelling. Have you given him advice on how to handle the limelight?

No, I don’t give him much advice for an industry I know very little about. He’s guided by his agent.

Obviously I’m apprehensive as to what happens when he starts doing interviews and I hope the conversations he has are purely on whatever profession he’s excelling in, as opposed to who he is.

It might sound ironic me saying that, bearing in mind my career has largely revolved around reality television. I’m not being ungrateful for the way I’ve earned a living for years, it’s more about protecting your child from something that can hurt.

It’s 20 years since you found fame with Shipwrecked. Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you hadn’t gone on that reality show?

I think I’d have always found my way, not necessarily in this industry but in life in general. I’ve always had a bit of a survival mindset — childhood gave me that.

And that’s one of these strange ways we benefit from things that aren’t necessarily great. But I’ve always had the ability to look after myself and find what I need, in a good way.

The Jeff Brazier: Only Human podcast is available to download every Tuesday from absoluteradio.co.uk and major podcasts providers.

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