My brother’s girlfriend sends me frantic texts whenever he is out on a bender and I can’t take the stress

DEAR DEIDRE: I GET constant texts and calls from my brother’s girlfriend whenever he is out on a bender.

He is an alcoholic and sometimes drinks so much that an ambulance gets called and he ends up in hospital.

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I’m 32 and his sister. He’s 35, while his girlfriend is 27.

She worries about him, naturally, but there’s not much I can do at this point.

Most of the time he has a couple of drinks and goes home.

But once a month he drinks himself into oblivion.

Then the texts and frantic calls start from his girlfriend.

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She then chucks him out and he goes back to his squalid, damp flat where I fear he might not wake up in the morning.

I don’t need this in my life.

The stress of it all is getting me down.

DEIDRE SAYS: It could well be significant that he gets in this state like clockwork.

Is there a memory of something that affects him at the same time each month?

You can’t make him change – only he can do that. But you and his girlfriend can find help with how best to support him.

Get in touch with We Are With You, which helps not just people addicted to drugs and alcohol but also their families (weare withyou.org.uk).

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